Mark Heinlein.com

We've all had a moment like this.

Conflict is a normal part of everyday life.  Regardless of whether one looks at his or her personal or professional life, conflict plays an ongoing and oftentimes very emotional role.  To many, even the mention of the word “conflict” elicits an emotional and sometimes physical reaction. Some individuals choose to ignore the conflict out of fear or an inability to address the situation.  Others choose to address the conflict more directly by attacking the merits of a particular position or the credibility of the source.  The truth is that how one addresses a particular situation can have significant benefits or adverse consequences for numerous individuals involved. 

So what is the best style or approach to dealing with conflict?

Before addressing conflict management styles, it is first important to define the term.  Conflict management is defined as the behavior that a person employs as he attempts to assess and analyze a situation.  The key point with conflict management is that the individual has choices.  What choices are made and how they affect others in the conflict situation can yield varied results.  For example, in the professional environment, one finds competing positions and agendas.  Individuals with common goals can have vastly different perspectives on how to achieve them.  In situation like this, conflict can actually be a positive.  The term for this is productive conflict.  In a productive conflict situation, out of competing positions, can come the realization by all parties that a more comprehensive solution involving the thoughts and opinions of all, may yield a more robust solution than otherwise would be the case.  For example, something as apparently simple as a software upgrade in a professional environment may involve numerous individuals from various functional areas of the organization.  Several examples include training, information technology (IT), finance, and even human resources.  Each of these areas brings to the table a different viewpoint that can lead to conflict.  The need for the software is apparent, how the organization implements it is the issue.

The reality is that there is no “absolute” style or approach as conflict management is situational in nature.  The appropriate response or behavior is contingent upon numerous factors including the environment, the relationship with the individual at hand, the context in which the conflict occurs, and the emotional state of those involved, to name a few.  To identify a specific strategy that would be used on every situation would minimize the complexity of conflict management.  In the work environment, given the culture of a specific organization, the issue at hand, and the individuals involved, establishing a consensus on areas where a group agrees first, then addressing the areas of difference second may be a prudent approach.  In other situations that involve the immediate safety and well-being of others, a more immediate and direct approach to resolving the conflict may be required.  Other issues, that have high emotional context and yield little in terms of benefit, may require simply ignoring the issue.  The approach in each of these cases is different and dependant on the situation.  The critical piece to keep in mind in the management of any conflicting situation is the requirement of each individual involved to preserve the dignity and respect of others. 

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